Of Perfection
by irismay42
Summary: Sam and Dean stumble upon a lab creating genetically engineered people. Whose dire scheme have they uncovered? A completely silly one shot created as an antidote to too much angst and death fic.


**A/N: **OK, this is just a bit of silliness written as an antidote to the overdose of death, doom and angst I've been reading since Devil's Trap. I'm getting into this one-shot business now!

Please don't take this seriously, as it wasn't meant to be - in any way shape or form!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Language / Violence:** None. Just complete stupidity on my part.

Enjoy!

**OF PERFECTION**

"So, what's the deal with this place again?" Dean Winchester asked, hauling himself up, like, the hundredth flight of stairs in hot pursuit of his ridiculously long-legged kid brother.

Sam half-turned, an uncertain expression on his face.

Geez, the kid wasn't even out of breath.

"I'm not sure," Sam replied, taking three stairs in one stride and causing Dean's frown to deepen as he tried to keep up. "Weird noises. Odd smells. Strange discharge in the sewers. The neighbours keep reporting this place to the city, but they can never find any environmental code violations."

Dean continued to frown, trying to ignore the feeling that his chest was about to implode. "Except for the damn lack of elevators," he grumbled. "That's gotta be some kind of crime against Humanity."

Sam grinned. "Baby," he muttered, jumping up the last four stairs in one go. He was pretty sure he heard a curse word of some description emanate from between his big brother's clenched teeth as he drew level.

Dean was breathing hard. "This better be worth it, Sammy," he growled, not in the least bit amused.

Sam grinned, pulling out the home-made alarm de-activator as Dean went to work on the enthusiastically-sized lock welded solidly to the thick metal door before them.

'_Absolutely no entry. Perfection Inc employees only_' the sign read.

Dean scoffed. "Perfection Inc? What the hell is that?"

Sam shrugged, the lock clicking just as the little screen on the device in his hand lit up green. "Let's find out," he said, pushing open the door.

"Whoa," Dean muttered, taking an unconscious step backwards. "What the hell…?"

Sam glanced sideways at him, before taking a cautious step into the semi-lit room opening up before them. "Okay, so this is pretty freaky," he admitted, scanning the area around him with an incredulous gaze.

"Understatement of the century," Dean agreed, sticking closer to Sam than was strictly necessary as he took in his surroundings.

Through the darkness, all they could see was glass. Row upon row of it. Glass tubes, about the size of a person. No, _exactly_ the size of a person. Lined up in neat little groups of ten on each side of them. And then another row of ten behind that. And another. And another.

"What _is_ this place?" Sam muttered, moving over to one of the tubes and peeking inside. The only light in the room emanated from a sickly green glow at the bottom of each tube, weirdly uplighting whatever lurked inside.

Sam squinted harder through the glass, almost pressing his nose against it as he tried to fathom the dark shape floating in the thick viscous liquid within.

And then he jumped back suddenly, a cry of alarm barely escaping his lips as the thing inside moved.

"Dean!" he cried, steadying himself on a metal desk at his back, grabbing onto the cables protruding from the back of a state of the art flat screen computer monitor. "Dean, there's someone in there!"

The thing moved again, long tresses of blonde hair wafting against the glass as Sam suddenly realised he was looking into two of the most painfully blue eyes he had ever seen in his life. Cold and unblinking, they bore into his own like diamond lasers, and he found himself barely able to look away.

Dean nodded, seemingly less unnerved than his brother, as he crouched down beneath another of the tubes, attention drawn to a splattering of luminous green gloop that appeared to have leaked from a small crack in the metal casing around the base. "Yeah," he said. "I got that."

Sam tore his attention from the oddly beautiful female form floating before his eyes to look in the direction of his brother. "What did you find?" he asked, taking a deep breath to steady himself, as he shuffled sideways in Dean's direction, not completely able to turn away from the creature staring out at him from the glass tube.

He looked down at the green stuff on the floor. The tube next to which his brother crouched contained a male, early twenties, jet black hair and the darkest of dark brown eyes. Impossibly handsome in a rugged, soap opera hero kind of way.

Dean spared Sam an upward glance, one finger coated in a droplet of the ooze. "Demon's blood," he said, standing as he carefully examined the stuff on his hand. He met Sam's gaze once again, before wiping the goo off onto his shirt and indicating the plastic tubing snaking around the base of each unit. "It's being fed in to each of these cases."

Sam followed the direction of Dean's finger, examining the pulsating green tubes as they wove their way between each of the glass cases. His forehead creased into an uncertain frown. "Why?" he asked, voicing the question he knew he didn't really have to voice. "What are they doing to these people?"

Dean's attention had shifted to an oversized flat screen in front of him, the images scrolling across lighting up his face in blues and greens as he touched the onscreen buttons. "I'm not sure these are people…" he muttered, lips pursing as he read something that obviously didn't make much sense.

"Huh?" Sam looked away from the case nearest to Dean's current position, where a dark-skinned girl with long curly hair had suddenly caught his attention: For Dean not to be looking at all these naked women, Sam knew there was something very wrong in what he was reading.

" 'DNA modification'," Dean read uncertainly. " 'Genetic realignment'…"

Sam suddenly caught on. "Oh my god!" he exclaimed. "This is a _people_ lab, isn't it?"

Dean tore his attention from the screen in front of him to frown at his brother. It was his turn to utter the word, "Huh?"

Sam started to nod, knowing and excited. "Like in that TV show!"

Dean continued to look at him blankly. "TV show?" he echoed. "What TV show?"

Sam started to walk backwards and forwards, up and down the lines of glass tubes, looking up into the face of one perfectly-formed human being after another. "The one with that place in it that created genetically engineered super-soldiers. Raised them from birth to kill, and all that. They were all perfect-looking. Looked like they'd all fallen straight out of a Levi's commercial…" He glanced over at Dean who was continuing to stare at him vacantly. "Jessica Alba was in it."

Light dawned. "Oh yeah," Dean muttered, attention returning to the screen in front of him as his cheeks coloured. "Never saw it."

Sam snorted. "Yeah, I'll bet," he returned, continuing to stalk around the room in search of answers he wasn't entirely sure he was going to find. Looking up at a guy with muscles that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger weep, he added. "So what's with the demon's blood? You think they're adding it to these people's DNA? Turning them into super-soldiers?"

Dean leaned back slightly from the screen over which he'd been poring, a deadly-serious expression on his face. "No, not super-soldiers," he said. "I think it's worse than that."

Sam glanced over at his brother, the concern etched onto his face so intense that he felt the sudden urge to move towards him, coming up behind and glancing over his shoulder at the screen he was reading.

Dean turned slightly in Sam's direction, before announcing, "They're actors." He touched another button on the screen which caused the legend, 'Perfection Inc Online Catalogue. Please choose your category' to light up in a pink so bright it hurt his eyes.

"What?" Sam followed Dean's finger, to where he pointed to a row of category buttons ranged along the middle of the screen. He hovered uncertainly between those labelled 'Soap Opera', 'Drama / Procedural', 'Medical', 'Action / Adventure', 'Teen Drama', 'Horror / Fantasy / Sci-Fi / Supernatural' before going for 'Drama / Procedural', mostly, Sam suspected, because he didn't know what the second word meant.

The screen morphed into a range of photographs of celebrities that even Sam recognised.

"Well I'll be damned," he muttered.

Dean shook his head. "I always knew there was something hinky about those CSI dudes," he declared, before scrolling through a montage of impossibly attractive looking castaways. "And those guys? If they're so Lost, how come the dudes don't have beards down to their elbows, and the chicks' lipstick's always perfect, huh? Answer me that." When Sam didn't offer an answer, he slipped his finger onto the 'Back' button, choosing another labelled 'Network Showcase'. "No. Way!" he burst out, as four bright green labels and two red ones appeared on the screen. The two red ones had a little flashing line of text beneath them which read, 'Currently in redevelopment. Please check back for further information after 05/18/2006.'

Dean pushed one of the red buttons. "Goddamn, I knew it!" he cried, pointing at one of the pictures that appeared on the screen. "Superboy! No-one's that good-looking in real life!"

Sam squinted at some of the other photos. "_And_ that girlfriend he had in that show? Boy did_ she_ have bad luck with guys for a girl that hot. Now we know why."

Dean glanced sideways at him. "There are worse ways to die than being flattened by a meteorite, I guess," he muttered, scrolling through some more of the pictures. "Hah – guess they got the DNA coding wrong with that guy's nose," he crowed, scanning through the cast of one of the network's teen soaps, before pushing a button labelled 'Our Older Work'. "Mrs Cruise, I presume," he muttered, before scrolling back to click on the other red-labelled network. His pallor blanched considerably. "Aw, man!" he cried. "Buffy! All of my illusions shattered…"

Sam reached over his brother's shoulder to scroll further down the screen.

"I'm not surprised about that Angel guy though…" Dean continued to grumble, as other photographs slid before his eyes. "_And_ that Tru chick from the morgue show? Can this day _get_ any worse?"

"Yeah, it can," Sam muttered, pointing at the screen.

Dean's ears turned a shade of scarlet. "Okay, there's no way I'm believing this! No way!" He turned and fixed Sam with a disgruntled gaze. "Jessica Alba is _not_ a mutant demon-blooded genetically engineered freakazoid created for a TV show, Sam. I won't believe it."

"Believe it," Sam assured his brother, scrolling through the cast list. "They're _all_ too perfect, too beautiful to be human. Don't you see?"

Dean just looked at him.

"It's a cover," Sam explained. "All of it. They're using demon's blood to create perfect, genetically-engineered actors!"

Dean bit his lip. "Why would they do that?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Ratings," he said.

Dean looked back at the screen, a look of determination on his face. "Alright," he said, realisation dawning. "That's it." He pulled something from the pocket of his jeans. "We gotta end this freak show. Right now." He held up the lighter in his hand, the other producing a small can of lighter fluid from inside his jacket. "We gotta torch this place. Before they take over the world…"

**The End**

Hope you didn't find that too ridiculous! Feel free to review, but don't be too nasty if I dissed any of your favourite actors...!


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